Let's do this!
I want to make a Stuff Foreigners/Ex-Pats say in Brazil video, akin to the Sh*t Girls Say trend on YouTube. If you guys can help me think of enough funny lines, Lindsey and I will record it when she and Ro come to visit in March (see how I did that, Lindsey? I publicly committed you to both your visit and this project! Now you can't say no. Haha.)
Anyway, Tracy has been super helpful so far, but I need more ideas to make it extra high quality.
I also think I want to gear it more toward ex-pats rather than just tourists, because tourists kind of say the same thing in every country, don't you agree?
I realize that, in keeping with the themes of these videos, some Brazilians should play the parts of the Americans, but I think that'll lose some of the effect in this case. (We're already on the outside looking in, ya know?) Also, I'll need a guy to record the lines that need to be spoken by a guy. Any volunteers?
So have at it! I'll publish all the (non-offensive) comments and ideas, even if they don't end up in the video. If you really like someone's line, you should mention that in your comment.
Have fun. :D
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HA! This should be fun
ReplyDeleteSome dumb ideas:
Friggin evangelists!
You want me to wear THAT bikini?
EW! look at that 500 pound man in that white sunga! (barf)
Too. Much. Meat (churrasco)
When are they finally going to stop making these god damned manholes (hehe) stop exploding? (the ones in the street, you pervs)
I highly doubt putting your handbag on the floor is going to kill you.
Another caipirinha?
Those were lame but I'll try and think of more (better quality) lines.
"So I can't flush the paper? Ever?"
ReplyDelete"WHY IS THE BANK CLOSED?"
"They don't do it that way in the US."
"WHY IS THE FEDERAL POLICE OFFICE CLOSED?"
"Can I just wear my one piece?"
"WHY IS THE POST OFFICE CLOSED?"
"They're on strike AGAIN?"
"OMG! OMG! Are you an American???"
And what about "Sh*t Brazilian Women Say?"
Hi, Danielle. My girl and I read your blog almost religiously (she has commented before as RomanticBohemian), but I am the American in the relationship. In response to your "Stuff Foreigners Say in Brazil," I'll share my example of the first time I went (alone) to our local padaria. It's a short, painful story.
ReplyDeleteI wanted a loaf of Italian bread. I asked for "pau Italiano" instead of "pao Italiano." Everyone behind the counter (all women, as my luck would have it) began laughing, naturally, though I had no idea why at the time. They even grabbed their friends to tell them about the funny American who'd asked for some Italian penis.
I couldn't show my face in that place for about a month.
That nasal accent is a real bitch.
Mal posso esperar para ver o resultado do seu projeto. Boa sorte!
ReplyDelete"Can you please come visit me so you can bring me some peanut butter?"
ReplyDelete"I would KILL for some real Mexican food."
"Why can't they just show up when they say they'll show up?"
"All this paperwork and runaround MAKES NO SENSE."
"I just want to buy a book (or whatever)! Why aren't the stores ever open?!"
Can you pick me up ten packets of paprika and some eggs? My store ran out.
I love all of Jennifer's comments! Especially all the "WHY IS THE _____ CLOSED?!" ones. Haha!
"Can you please come visit me so you can bring me some peanut butter?"
ReplyDelete"I would KILL for some real Mexican food."
"Why can't they just show up when they say they'll show up?"
"All this paperwork and runaround MAKES NO SENSE."
"I just want to buy a book (or whatever)! Why aren't the stores ever open?!"
Can you pick me up ten packets of paprika and some eggs? My store ran out.
I love all of Jennifer's comments! Especially all the "WHY IS THE _____ CLOSED?!" ones. Haha!
I've only showered 5 times today - I feel so dirty!
ReplyDeleteSo I need to line up, to get a ticket, to tell me to line up over there, to wait to order, then line up there to pay, and then line up there to get my coffee and go through it all again if I want another?
Jason Korolenko - I've asked for cheese dick before :(
I don't think I've lived here long enough, but here's a go:
ReplyDelete"Do you really think we'll see a sloth (or insert other exotic animal that you have no chance of actually seeing)?"
"I'll just have water" -> Guarana? -> "No, just water, please" -> receives Guarana.
"No, please, no more food, I really am okay"
"Let my just bag those myself"
And then, I agree pretty much everything Jennifer has said.
Why are they so slow at [insert service]?
ReplyDeleteThey wouldn't work if you plugged them in.
They can't [still] be on strike [again]?
Can I have the gringo menu please?
In my country they...
No I don't have any change.
Arrrrghghhgh.
Ând which holiday is this???
ReplyDeleteWhy do you even bother with English words on your menu? (Drives my husband crazy that he's not understood when he asks for a "hamburger" instead of a "amboorgheer" or "ketchup" instead of "ketchoopee!")
ReplyDelete-I need ANOTHER document?
-What does "Greve" mean and why is it plastered all over my bank?
-Coca, coco, cocô...I don't care! Bring me something to drink!
-Trust me, I won't die of thermal shock from eating ice cream on the beach.
-No, my child is not freezing because he's not wearing socks in 30 degree temperatures.
-Just because I have blue eyes doesn't mean you get to gringo-charge me. Fix the $*&M bill!
Oh. This will make my brain melt. I'm coming back to check other people's responses!
Danielle said she wants to make something akin to the Sh*t Girls Say trend on YouTube.
ReplyDeleteIf that´s the goal, this should be mostly about “dumb” ex-pats saying sh*t.
So far, almost all suggestions are about ex-pats having trouble understanding dumb and/or lazy Brazilian people.
It seems ex-pats think they are so much "better" than the locals, that they can´t keep with the themes of the videos Danielle mentioned.
Of course, you just want to have fun, so go ahead.
Since Danielle is a Pernambuco Gypsy fan, I´m sure she won´t mind the suggestions will lead her to make something not akin to those videos.
Oh, Cepb23, the negative nancy trying to suck all the fun out of everything. What a sad life this person must lead!
ReplyDeletecepb23 also misunderstood a lot of the comments- the ones I contributed ARE dumb, not cultural misunderstandings. (For example, nut butters really don't exist outside the US/Canada) and there are many, many places where paper can't be flushed (including homes from my old neighborhood)
ReplyDeleteNo need for such an angry reaction, Danielle. But that´s ok, no mature person will think you lead a sad life just because you sounded bitter in a comment.
ReplyDeleteI didn´t offend anyone and I didn´t suggest it´s wrong to make a video like this.
I just pointed to the fact that many people are missing the original video´s idea.
Check, for example, S*it White Girls Say To Latinas
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcQSLJHpwCA
It makes fun about dumb white girls, not about latinos.
yawn. Trying to argue with people who don't make sense is boring. I don't think our new friend understands what's going on. I'll leave you guys to it.
ReplyDeleteDouble yawn. cepb23 is pretty clueless.
ReplyDeleteI have to disagree with Hanna. You might start research with something you love, but by the end you may be so sick of the topic you no longer like it. That can really be saddening and a loss of something once beloved.
ReplyDeleteSometimes it's nice to research something you think you can stand to be close to for a few years, but don't necessarily love. Kind of like a good roommate- ya don't wanna marry them but ya wanna co-exist well.
This is hilarious! I'll spend some time thinking about this... great project!
ReplyDeleteThese responses are great, I have so many but of course I can't remember them now... I have to think on this... so far...
ReplyDelete"why do they ALL have louis vuitton"
"6 inch heels at the airport?"
"full makeup for a 5k?"
"wow, thats expensive!"
"i could get that at target for 1/4 of the price"
"valet parking in the mall garage?"
"couver? no thanks"
Let me just get the red wine out of the fridge....
ReplyDeleteOi, Danielle
ReplyDeleteI know, I know, I'm NOT an American. Well, actually, technically I am, but I just could not resist, sorry. It's really a lot of fun! Anyway, here is my contribution.
Abracao.
Gil
1 - Chicken hearts?! Eeewww!
2 - Rice & beans EVERY day?! How boring!
3 - Tampons are more expensive than gold here!
4 - Porrr favorrr seignorrr, p'dreeaw d'zerrr ondey f'cah sta l'garr? - showing him the name of the place written in a piece of paper as she/he couldn't pronounce it not even in a million years - ANHAMGABAÚ.
5 - Boys with boys and girls with girl in the parties?! That's weird!
6 - Brazilian lingerie are sexy but uncomfortable!
7 - Avocado smoothie?! EEEEWWWW!
8 - What?! My butt is not that flat, Mr. Bunda!
9 - I went to a Carnaval party and danced SALSA aaaaall night long.
10 -This coffee is too strong!
11 - Where's the salad dressing?
12 - I hate when they call me Margaretchee!
13 - It's not football, it's soccer!
14 - I need to check my teeth out before going back home. It's sooo much cheaper here!
15 - Save on those Ziploc bags, they cost a fortune!
16 - They trust grown men to baby seat children?
17 - Whatta f*** is this? B... bee... dey?! (Bidet). Oooo-my-gosh! HAHAHAHAHA! I would never use it! Must be one more of those 3rd world weirdness. Let's throw some dirt in it and use it as a fancy vase.
18 - No thank you, it's too healthy and make me fart as a cow all day.
19 - What?! He's 35 years old and still lives with his parents? There must be something really wrong with that guy!
20 - It’s time to wax your fur, baby!
21 - They're so huggy-kissy here, aren't they?
22 - A toddler wearing bikini?! How distasteful!
23 - Is it OK to breast feeding in public?!
24 - They don't circumcise boys here?!
25 - I'm gonna miss my maid.
26 - What?! No heating??!!
27 - What?! No AC??!!
This is hysterical and I haven't even been there yet...:-)
ReplyDeleteYes! I loved Gil's ideas, especially 7, 9, 16 and 18 to 27.
ReplyDeleteHello, this will be my first time commenting but I have been closely following your blog Danielle!! So here it goes:
ReplyDelete1. I can´t deal with this dam heat!!
2. Aham (a response that works for most situations)
3. You gave me the incorrect change mrs/mr.
4. Wow is life ever good (while sipping on a ice cold Brahma haha)
5. Are you not going to pick up your dogs poop?
6. Beans and rice everyday? Strange!! But surpisingly good.
7. Remember that 5 reais I let you borrow.....
8. Eu te amo :)
I don´t know if any of these are useful to you but they are some of the things I find my self saying on a daily basis !! Good luck
Greig
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204795304577221720633892622.html?mod=rss_americas_portugues&utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter
ReplyDeleteJust thought this was cute.
Miss you! Hope ur having fun (amazon solved my kindle problem in.2.days. = reason i love the USA)
awesome so far. Agreed on the no AC especially after this week.
ReplyDelete....
Do you think it's safe?
Do you have a driver?
I will never wear spandex in public.
I will never have a maid... usually followed several months later by I love my maid, how did I do without one for so long?
What's that in dollars?
Is the water safe to drink?