So we have a new cleaning lady. Yes, I'm back in the cycle of a love-hate relationship with having a cleaning lady again. I still haven't gotten comfortable with the idea, and I still try to make myself look busy and I still feel immensely guilty. (But this post is about my breakthrough!)
This newest cleaning lady is the second woman we've hired here in Springfieldee, because the first one, a friend of my student's cleaning lady, was really terrible. I don't want to sound like a plantation owner or anything, but I don't think I'm a particularly picky homeowner and I still thought this first woman was bad. (For example, she swept all the cat hair under the bed instead of putting it in the trash, and even though I asked her if she would be able to clean the barbecue as part of her weekly tasks BEFORE she started and BEFORE she told me how much she would charge, she still made a fuss about doing it and tried to just ignore it, hoping I wouldn't notice after reminding her twice.)
Anyway anyway, this second woman is a breath of fresh air. Her name is Maria. She knows how to communicate, which is what I think it comes down to. I communicate what I need. She communicates what she needs. We discussed all the details before she started so things would be clear. Then she comes and does what we agreed upon. ROCKET SCIENCE. She's also friendly and lively and doesn't complain about her job or my apartment. (The complaining annoys me a bit. I don't go to my job and say, "Ugh, I HATE teaching English. I don't want to teach you today. I'm so tired. Your English is really bad. Don't you study?" etc etc. So I don't like it when the cleaning ladies come to my apartment and say things like, "Ugh, I don't want to work today -- I'm exhausted!" or "Your apartment is VERY messy, did you know that?")
So last week, on Maria's second day, it started to rain as Maria was finishing up. Alexandre had gotten off work early and was home with the car, so we offered to give her a ride home. It was a little far, but she would've had to walk far in the rain and wait at the uncovered bus stop.
I'm so happy we did this. We got stuck in some traffic, so the three of us got to know each other a little bit. We learned that Maria and her husband were from the state of Bahia and moved to Sao Paulo for a better life. This is a common story in Brazil, one I've read about often in history books (and in the plethora of economics articles I've been translating). But it was really interesting and important to hear someone's first-hand experience. Maria explained that maids in Bahia can make as little as R$150 a month for 40 hours a week. She mentioned that things were cheaper; for example, you could rent a small house in her town for as little as R$80 a month, but I pointed out that it meant rent was more than half of a maid's salary, and that even if things were more expensive in Sao Paulo, it's certainly be easier for her to make a salary and pay rent at much better proportions.
Maria and her husband (who works as a truck driver / delivery man) saved up to buy a small piece of land on the outskirts of town (here in Springfieldee). They've slowly been building their house on it. When we got to Maria's house, she eagerly asked us to come inside so she could show off the fruits of their labor.
Her house was huge! Because they had to build little by little, the house is kind of haphazard in shape; a room here, a room there, a random walkway with another room...things are also still very open, since they haven't had money to put in windows, only a big wall around the property. Maria's husband has done all of the construction, from laying the bricks to connecting the house to the sewer system to installing the electrical wiring. (That requires a lot of skill.) They have four kids, ages 10-18. When we got to the house, the three youngest kids were home. There were also some other kids from the neighborhood hanging out, playing. The youngest son and his friends were playing on the computer. It was an older computer but they were happy as clams with a motorcycle racing game. The teenage daughter and her friends were watching the nightly soap opera and chatting quietly. She was very polite and greeted us when we came in.
Maria's husband had already gotten dinner started. They had a wood-burning stove set up outside, and he was cooking beans over it in the pressure cooker. "To save on gas!" Maria's husband insisted. I didn't actually see a modern stove/oven, so I'm not sure if they have one.
Maria is already happy and chatty, but it was obvious how proud she felt of her own house, how comfortable she was, how in her element to be surrounded by her family and a bunch of children.
Richer Brazilians (the ones I spend 99% of my time with) like to insist that the poorer classes live in abject poverty, that they are all suffering and miserable. Some of these richer Brazilians will have you believe that everyone in the poorer classes covets the things they've got, that I have to be careful to hide my electronics so my maid doesn't steal them, to wash my expensive clothes myself so the maid doesn't ruin them, etc etc.
After seeing Maria's life, I realized that these fears reflect more on the people who profess them than the people in question. I think it shows how much the richer classes obsess over things like fancy clothes and electronics, and not necessarily that the poorer classes do. I realized that Maria probably thinks our lives are apples and oranges. My apartment is tiny compared to her house; it's quiet all the time because I don't have any children or friendly neighbors to liven it up; Alexandre and I have a lot of electronics, but what good is a Kindle going to do her? I don't think she necessarily sees much value in all of our stuff.
I'm not saying that Maria doesn't want things; the laws of economics state that everyone has unlimited wants and limited resources. I'm just saying that I don't believe now that she wants MY things, that she's looking down on me for my lifestyle or that she's judging me for the way I live or work or spend my money. I think she's laid back and sees her job as a job, and that hiring her as a cleaning lady is just a choice I've made with the money I earn. Also, she invited me into her house and tried to insist that I stay for dinner, so she must not hate me that much, right?
So like my richer Brazilian counterparts, my fears reflected more on me than on her; I feel guilty for having more than others sometimes, and I'm still trying to work out a way to balance my own definitions of pleasure with my responsibilities to people less fortunate than I am.
But I feel lucky that Maria invited us in. Sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on a lot of Brazilian subcultures, so I like to try to learn things when I can. I got to know the urban poor all too well back in the crappy beach town, and of course I'm familiar with bubble that is the Brazilian upper classes. But people who have migrated from the poorer Northeast to the richer state of Sao Paulo are new to me.
I hope this post doesn't come off as silly, like, "oh wow, poor people can be happy, too!". That wasn't the epiphany. I guess the epiphany was that people don't always want what I want, and that Maria is way more ahead of the game than I am in terms of working on her own goals, doing what's right for her and not comparing herself to others, etc. The epiphany was also that Maria probably doesn't see her job in some oppressive social context the way I do. It's important for me to remember that next time I want to take a nap while she's here.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
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Absolutely love this post!
ReplyDeleteI second that! I read the whole thing as I waited on a chilly train platform and it was excellent.
ReplyDeleteI share your slight apprehension regarding having a cleaner - I prefer to do these things myself, but let's just say that our household is split 50-50 on this issue! ;)
Lovely post!
ReplyDeleteI'm really glad that you can see by yourself some shades of the Brazilian culture :).
Not that I ever had a maid before I came to Brazil or anything, but I have never understood the discomfort in having one. There are all kinds of jobs in the world - including the ones I don't want to do. I don't see the issue in paying someone to do something I don't want to do/don't know how to do. I don't know how to fix a broken fuse box, so I pay an electrician to do it for me. I don't know the most efficient way of filing my taxes, so I pay an accountant to do it for me. I'm English and I don't know how to keep a home clean the Brazilian way, so I pay a maid to do it for me. I pay slightly above market rate, we're very friendly and chatty with eachother, she's happy to have a job, I'm happy to give it to her. Why should I feel guilty?
ReplyDeleteRelated anecdote: the other day I was pushing my empty shopping cart back to the supermarket and my girlfriend stopped me and said "leave it". I said "what do you mean, just leave it in the middle of the car park?". "Yes," she said, "there are people specifically employed to clear away shopping carts, if you do it fore them you're taking away their job."
As the lefty commie economist friend, I have to say...
ReplyDeleteWork is ever only oppressive when you don't like what you do.
Then we are back to the old fetichism: work force becomes a "thing" that you sell. You don't relate to the activity you spend a good 1/3 of your adult life on. Then you hate your boss.
I'm pretty sure it is more common for people in lower classes to choose work more based on what they are able to find than what they love, and they will feel oppressed about it. But some people just like what they do. (Lucky you! Lucky Maria?)
So really, the whole idea of not hiring a maid because it is oppressing... You can't make them like their jobs! Stick to the ones that do and you'll have a functioning economic relation going on, instead of just being the oppressive alienating boss.
And although I had a test yesterday in which I wrote economics is based on scarcity of resources (Damn those Neoclassic teachers!) I like to think it's based on love and cookies. And Marx. Har har.
Wonderful post. I'm so, so glad you finally found a maid you like, or maybe I should say a house-cleaning companion? What an eye-opening opportunity to visit Maria's house and learn a little bit about her life.
ReplyDeleteI loved your post, there is no specific reason. Maybe just because it was I needed to read something like this.
ReplyDeleteLike everyone else, I loved this post. My husband has some of the wealthier Brazilians in his life as family or friends, but the majority of his relatives have a story similar of that of Maria -- they don't have a lot, but they are proud of what they have. His best friend's parents live in the tiniest (TINIEST even by Brazilian standards) little apartment in Guarulous but something that always sticks out to me is how even in a room that should only seat two or three (yes, TINY) it is full of people. People on laps even, but full. And they worked hard to get even this. As the dad said last March when we took our friends (that you know! :) ) there, "Our house is small, but are hearts are big so we have enough room for everyone." I don't think they are poor at all!
ReplyDeleteHi dear
ReplyDeleteso pleased you have a maid to suit you.She sounds like someone who is satisfied with her lot in life But is working to improve it. I think I may have told you about when I first came to the States and did housework to help out with the money. I went to one lady. Her husband was an attorney, She stayed to showed me where all the cleaning stuff was kept. Then they took off. a couple of hours later her husband returned for a while then went off again. She told me later, that any time he came home when they had another lady. she would be sitting talking on the phone. She Also loved the way I worked and said I shouldn't be doing it I should teach girls how to do it. But I said You know that won't work. Because you have to like what you do and most people that clean houses don't like it.I always got many compliments, which makes you feel good. xoxox
Agreeeeeeed - I think that's why I quickly got over my fears too once we got a housekeeper. Alda was the most down-to-earth, talks to me like a person, tells me about her life and asks me questions too kind of person and was a total pleasure to be around. She cried and hugged me when I told her I was pregnant!
ReplyDeleteGonna miss her actually. So happy you had a good experience! Treat people like they're people and hopefully you get the same reaction?
This was such an interesting post! One of the reasons I'm so excited to be moving to Brazil is because I'll finally be able to afford some help around the house (I have fibromyaglia and it's difficult to do all the things I need to do). My MIL is already giving me advice, much like you've been hearing, and after reading your post I'm just going to toss most of it out the window.
ReplyDeleteGreat to discover your blog!
ReplyDeleteI just moved to Brasilia yesterday and will be living here for a while. I don't know a single person and feel very overwhelmed right now.
I speak Spanish but Portuguese is incredibly hard for me.
I'm excited to see other ex-pats expiriences!
abraco,
M
oh i blog here: http://thesumofourdays.tumblr.com/
Lovely post! You seem everyday more integrated and happier!
ReplyDelete